Thursday, November 29, 2012

Uncomfortably Numb - (Germany) Day 338

PT this morning was a combination of PT and sergeant's time training. SGT Steroids taught combatives, but this time it was a much longer session lasting from 0730 until 1100. After some warm up exercises everyone actually got down and did some actual real time practice trying to do some of the moves. He also did "The Gauntlet" which has one person that stays on the mat while everyone else takes turns trying to submit him. It's a grueling process for the one who stays on the mat. I was told to head to S1 at 0900, so I left before it was finished. If I was healthy and not broke, this would have been a fun experience and a great workout…unfortunately I just watched with the other profiles.

The entire day I felt pretty much numb, only talking to people when talked to. When exchanging pleasantries with the cashier at the shoppette I had to force a smile as I left. I'm just not myself anymore. I don't feel like much at all…just in a daze for the entire day. I heard that rumors are flying about all the stuff I've said, and like a lot of rumors most of it is embellished or just a plain lie. I know our platoon sergeant absolutely hates me and can barely look me in the eye when he does have to address me. I'm kind of glad I'm hanging out in S1 all day away from all that. The sergeant I report to in S1 is very cool and down to earth. He didn't actually have anything for me to do today, but I did bring my textbook and ended up spending the day reading the chapter I'm on in the morning. I headed home for lunch, I just can't stand even being on the post longer than I have to. I spent the afternoon rereading the same chapter to make sure I understood it as well as possible. My current class is on business management, which I've mentioned before. The chapter I'm on is all about motivating your employees and how different employees react to various methods. It also talks about how negative reinforcement does not promote a good work environment. Everything they mentioned about negative reinforcement is done all the time in the army. Just one of the many reasons I can't wait to get out. I can't imagine what the rest of my time will be like in the army with everything going on. I know it's not going to be a good experience…I only have 1086 days left, that is if they don't kick me out sooner.

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