Thursday, February 27, 2014

Pee and the Suit - (MedBoard: Joint Base Lewis-McChord) Day 265

As I was sitting in my car in the WTB parking lot waiting for morning formation, my squad leader texted me with a heads up letting me know that I have been selected for a pee test. I do appreciate the advanced notice, because I can then bring my coffee with me to formation and then straight to the pee test. The morning formation was in ACUs for sergeant’s time training. As expected, my name was called along with about 9 or 10 others for the pee test. Those of us called had to head directly to the company headquarters, while everyone else had some sort of sergeant’s time training. This might be the first time I’m happy to actually take a pee test!

Once at company headquarters we gathered in the lobby and slowly one by one each person who felt the urge to pee went in for their test. I finished my coffee and refilled my tumbler with water from the water fountain. I drank…waited…and watched people head into the bathroom with the NCO escort to conduct their pee test and come out with a little bottle of pee. I continued this process until I had refilled my tumbler at least 3 times and there were only me and one girl left to test. I didn’t want to risk a false start like what happened last time. After a little over an hour and a half I had to call my NCM and left her a message letting her know I wasn’t going to make it to my 0800 appointment because of the pee test. Then it happened…I had no doubt that I had to really take a good piss. I slowly took off my ACU top and headed over to the table that had my little empty plastic bottle waiting for me. I verified my bottle was empty and initialed next to my name on the sticker. The NCO put the sticker on my bottle and handed it to me. I then went to the men’s room with an NCO behind me to witness. The NCO witnessing was much better than previous ones, he just stood about 5 feet behind me and let me do my business…much better than 6 inches from my penis trying to cheer me on like the last time. I easily filled up the bottle and had to take a while longer at the urinal just to finish peeing. Once finished I screwed the cap back on my little plastic bottle, washed up, and then took the little bottle back to the NCO waiting outside at the table. The NCO at the table then secures the lid with some tamper proof tape and has the witnessing NCO sign to say he watched me pee. That is the entire process for a pee test…now I can go on with my day.

Since I was already in the company headquarters lobby, I went back to see if my NCM could see me…but she was already gone. I left her a message. I then stopped by “the suit closet” and tried on a few tops and pants. The suit closet is for soldiers in the WTB and has a total mishmash of items that we can choose from to make a complete suit to keep and use for interviews in the civilian world. I was able to find a good coat, pants, and a tie. I also swung by the SFAC and checked my army email.

I had an acupuncture appointment at 1000. I started as usual walking back and forth on the hard plastic rocks for about 15 minutes. I then took off my top down to my t-shirt and my socks, then laid on my back. I got poked in the forehead, wrists, hands, below the knees, the ankles, and the feet. I must have been pretty tired because I totally fell asleep after she put on the music, turned off the lights and left me.

After the appointment I got a call from my NCM saying she wanted me to come by now if possible or tomorrow. I figured I would knock that out of the way and went to see her. The visit with my NCM was the typical questions and then she gave me some VA paperwork to fill out. I guess they’re going to try and setup my first VA appointment before I get out, which will make for a nice transition. I took the paperwork and left. I drove home, ate lunch, and then did schoolwork.

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