Pee and the Suit - (MedBoard: Joint Base Lewis-McChord) Day 265

As I was sitting in my car in the WTB parking lot waiting for morning formation, my squad leader texted me with a heads up letting me know that I have been selected for a pee test. I do appreciate the advanced notice, because I can then bring my coffee with me to formation and then straight to the pee test. The morning formation was in ACUs for sergeant’s time training. As expected, my name was called along with about 9 or 10 others for the pee test. Those of us called had to head directly to the company headquarters, while everyone else had some sort of sergeant’s time training. This might be the first time I’m happy to actually take a pee test!

Once at company headquarters we gathered in the lobby and slowly one by one each person who felt the urge to pee went in for their test. I finished my coffee and refilled my tumbler with water from the water fountain. I drank…waited…and watched people head into the bathroom with the NCO escort to conduct their pee test and come out with a little bottle of pee. I continued this process until I had refilled my tumbler at least 3 times and there were only me and one girl left to test. I didn’t want to risk a false start like what happened last time. After a little over an hour and a half I had to call my NCM and left her a message letting her know I wasn’t going to make it to my 0800 appointment because of the pee test. Then it happened…I had no doubt that I had to really take a good piss. I slowly took off my ACU top and headed over to the table that had my little empty plastic bottle waiting for me. I verified my bottle was empty and initialed next to my name on the sticker. The NCO put the sticker on my bottle and handed it to me. I then went to the men’s room with an NCO behind me to witness. The NCO witnessing was much better than previous ones, he just stood about 5 feet behind me and let me do my business…much better than 6 inches from my penis trying to cheer me on like the last time. I easily filled up the bottle and had to take a while longer at the urinal just to finish peeing. Once finished I screwed the cap back on my little plastic bottle, washed up, and then took the little bottle back to the NCO waiting outside at the table. The NCO at the table then secures the lid with some tamper proof tape and has the witnessing NCO sign to say he watched me pee. That is the entire process for a pee test…now I can go on with my day.

Since I was already in the company headquarters lobby, I went back to see if my NCM could see me…but she was already gone. I left her a message. I then stopped by “the suit closet” and tried on a few tops and pants. The suit closet is for soldiers in the WTB and has a total mishmash of items that we can choose from to make a complete suit to keep and use for interviews in the civilian world. I was able to find a good coat, pants, and a tie. I also swung by the SFAC and checked my army email.

I had an acupuncture appointment at 1000. I started as usual walking back and forth on the hard plastic rocks for about 15 minutes. I then took off my top down to my t-shirt and my socks, then laid on my back. I got poked in the forehead, wrists, hands, below the knees, the ankles, and the feet. I must have been pretty tired because I totally fell asleep after she put on the music, turned off the lights and left me.

After the appointment I got a call from my NCM saying she wanted me to come by now if possible or tomorrow. I figured I would knock that out of the way and went to see her. The visit with my NCM was the typical questions and then she gave me some VA paperwork to fill out. I guess they’re going to try and setup my first VA appointment before I get out, which will make for a nice transition. I took the paperwork and left. I drove home, ate lunch, and then did schoolwork.

Another Pee Test - (MedBoard: Joint Base Lewis-McChord) Day 53

In the warrior transition unit, there are a lot of people prescribed 

a lot of drugs for all the various physical and mental issues. 

Now you can earn some cash for getting a "Warrior Check-Up"

As I was sitting in my car this morning waiting to head to morning formation, I got a call from my squad leader. He gave me a heads up letting me know that I was going to have a pee test this morning. With that knowledge, I headed to formation with my PT jacket on and coffee in hand.

As we were standing in formation the first sergeant had everyone that is living in the barracks stand in front of the formation…which was the majority of the people in our company. The first sergeant then went on a rant telling the squad leaders and platoon sergeants, they should be ashamed of themselves. I guess there was room inspections in the barracks and bravo company failed miserably. I'm so glad I don't live in the barracks and have to deal with all that BS.

I then had my name called along with about 10 others for the pee test, so while everyone else did PT we headed to the staging area inside the building. The normal routine ensued with the NCO reading the pee test script. I sat in a chair drinking my coffee and playing games on my iPhone. I finished my coffee and then filled up my cup with water…about 45 minutes passed and I decided it was time. I had to kind of go earlier, but I didn't want a repeat of last time…I had to make sure I had to go…and go a lot! My squad leader came in the bathroom with me, but unlike the last episode, he stood back and let me do my thing. No problems this time.

I then headed to the SFAC to check my army email. Once that was done I hung out in my car until lunch time, then made my way back to the SFAC to eat it. Once lunch was finished, I headed to the library to do schoolwork. I stayed in the library until the end of day formation at 1600. During this formation we had to hear more about how bad people's rooms were in the barracks…then we were cut loose for the day.

While home I checked my personal email and found that I received a message stating my household goods have finally arrived. I replied right away stating I can have them delivered as soon as possible…we'll see when that is.

False Start - (MedBoard: Joint Base Lewis-McChord) Day 19

I headed to morning formation in ACUs with all intentions of turning around and heading straight back home. My sister found out she has cancer and will be in the hospital for surgery all day. I planned to be there with her and my mom. The powers that be had me picked for a pee test this morning...again. So along with about 9 others, we headed to the company to do our thing. I was a little surprised they were doing another pee test so soon…and I was also surprised that I was on the list yet again. I guess they probably have a lot more pee tests here because marijuana is legal in Washington state and because everyone in the WTB unit is broken. When you're broken, you're in pain a lot of the time. This means there is a lot more potential in abusing drugs. In fact I would love the chance to test out the medicinal properties of marijuana. If it helps with half the things that it's proponents say it does, then I'd be set and in no pain anymore! I'll have to wait on that though until I'm out of the army, because while I'm owned by the army…marijuana is still illegal.

I sat waiting for the urge to go pee along with my small cup of water that I had refilled a couple of times. I then felt a tingle down south and knew the time was near. I notified the NCO in charge and was assigned my small cup to fill up with my pee. As I headed in the observing NCO had me head into the handicapped toilet stall instead of the urinal. I thought that was a little strange, but headed in as instructed. Next came a very uncomfortable situation!

As I unbuttoned my pants and prepared to fill the cup, the observing NCO squatted down and put his face about 6 inches from my crotch! I'm not exaggerating one bit! As I tried to pee I found it extremely difficult with his face so close. Perhaps it was a little stage fright, but I was only able to squeeze out a tiny bit…nothing close to what is needed for the actual pee test. What the observing NCO did next didn't help at all. He started cheering and rooting my penis to push out some more urine into the cup. I told him I'm going to have to try again later.

There I left with barely enough urine in my cup to fill the bottom. I had to rinse the cup out and then smash it before throwing it away. Then it was back to drinking water…and lots of it. I got into a routine of drinking a glass of water, then playing a little of my game on the iPhone. I repeated this process for quite a while. There were a couple times I thought about going, but I didn't want another "false start" episode again. If I went in the restroom with my little pee cup and had to have the observing NCO 6 inches from my junk, I wanted to make sure I had to go…and go bad.

The time finally hit and without any doubt, I informed the NCO in charge and headed in with my new little pee cup. This time there was no question and not even an NCO within 6 inches of my penis was going to stop the floodgates from opening. I filled the cup and sat it aside while I kept going and going and going. Finally I finished up, screwed the lid on and headed back to the NCO in charge with a full cup of pee in hand. Surprisingly I wasn't even the last to finish, there was still one more person after me that still hadn't gone yet…even after waiting over an hour!

I then was able to head home and change, then I headed into the hospital to hang out with my sister, mom and other extended family. I'm grateful I'm back home now to be here for them.

Making the Deposit - (MedBoard: Joint Base Lewis-McChord) Day 10

Headed to PT in ACUs because I had a meeting with my NCM. The NCO in front of the formation then called off about 10 names and told them to gather to his left…mine was one of the names. I was wondering what the heck was going on, but quickly found out that it was for a random pee test. Unfortunately I had just gone pee right before formation. We head up to the company headquarters and I hang out next to the water fountain drinking water almost non-stop for 45 minutes. Finally the urge to pee hit and I headed it to take care of business. The drawback of drinking all that water, was that I ended up having to pee constantly for almost the next two hours. I swear every ten minutes I had to stop what I was doing and go pee.

I headed to the SFAC once again and attended a newcomers brief. I was the only person there, so it was pretty easy. One of the guys who works there gave me the basic overview of all their services, then I had to meet up with each of their representatives and have them sign off my checklist. They have everything from veteran services to ACAP. When I hit the HR guy he went over my ERB (enlisted record brief - basically your entire history in the army) and said it was all messed up. He asked me why and I said I have no idea. The problem is that we get no training on our ERB, there is a lot of information on it and unless you're assigned to an S-1 shop you don't know what it all means. From some of the S-1 shops I've visited, I can say that they don't know everything about it either. The HR guy added my overseas dates and places and also added another overseas service ribbon to it. Once my household goods arrive, I'll have to bring him all my awards and have him add those as well.

I then headed back to the hotel where I checked out. I found out that I have to actually pay the bill of over $800 and then take the paperwork to finance to get reimbursed. This really sucks, because it's just another hurdle that I have to do in order to get my money back. In Korea and in Germany I didn't have to do this, the hotel on post just billed the company I was assigned to and took care of it all behind the scenes. I didn't have to worry about any of that. On top of that it was required for me to stay at the hotel. I would have rather just stayed with family instead of dealing with this crap.

We packed up and headed to my in-laws where we will be staying until we move into our rental. We were able to pick a house to rent that we really liked. It's located in East Bremerton which will make my commute to Ft. Lewis about an hour, but it is within minutes of both my wife's family and my family. My wife will also be commuting in the opposite direction, so it's centrally located for both of us. We met with the landlords and made our deposit.

Time to Pee - (Germany) Day 315

Our recycle and garbage area for our stairwell has received two warnings.

I guess the new family in our stairwell doesn't know how to recycle properly.

If we get another one, I think there may be consequences...I just don't know

what those are yet. They take their recycling seriously here in Germany.

This morning for PT everyone ended up heading to the gym. One thing I really like about being on profile is that even when everyone heads to the gym, those of us on profile head straight there after accountability. Everyone else has to stand in formation, wait a bit, then finally do organized stretching and warm up drills. By the time everyone else arrived to the gym, I had already been working out for a while. As far as workouts go, I did my normal weight machine routine working on my core, arms and back.

At work today we had a few people out for their building's fall cleanup. We didn't do much in the office for the first part of the day, I checked my email and surfed the web. I heard a rumor that we were going to have a pee test after lunch, which I was happy to catch wind of before it happened. I usually end up going pee right after lunch, that would have left me sitting there with an empty bladder drinking water waiting to go again.

I took lunch in my car as usual with my book, my music, and a nap. When I got back in the office people started showing up. People said they were called and told there was a mandatory meeting they had to attend. When everyone arrived we were told we were having a pee test and everyone here was selected on a "random" basis to get tested. I put random in quotes because our tests are never random, they always to 100%. So people that had the day off, or had to work the night shift, all had to come in for this special event.

I was one of the first to go, and was able to finish the process of peeing in a cup while an NCO watched. It used to seem a little strange, but I've kind of become used to it by now. The entire process starts with me taking an empty cup to the bathroom while holding it above my head. I then go pee in it, making sure to fill it about 3/4 of the way. I then put the lid back on and carry it back out to the official table…all the while holding it above my head. I guess this eliminates the possibility of anything contaminating the sample. I was told that my sample "looks like watered down apple juice". I wasn't sure how to take that…..thanks I guess?

Anyway I then chatted with folks while everyone else made their way through the line. The last guy ended up taking a couple hours before he could manage to produce his sample. A lot of drinking water and pacing around. The rules stated that you could not leave for the day until you produced a sample.

That was the highlight of the day…watching someone watch me take a pee. The only other things I did all day was surf the web and talk to my boss about the new iPad mini. I also heard that indeed SGT Mex is going to get kicked out of the army, we just don't know how long the process is going to take. No word on when or where I'll be moving to, but I did hear that there will be a meeting concerning everyone's future on the 16th. Maybe we'll hear something after that.

We Gotta Pee - (Germany) Day 163

A quick (and blurry) shot I took during our pee test. You can see 

one of the soldiers that just came in with his pee...holding it high.

This morning's PT was a run to the stairs, up the stairs and down the switchbacks…for me though it was a walk, which I'm glad. My back is still sore and tender. I can't imagine trying to run right now.

Work started normal enough, I checked my email and surfed the net a bit…then let our new guy on the computer to do the same. I hung out a while on the maintenance side of the office talking to them. I didn't really want the auditors coming out and asking me any questions. I then got trained with the new guy how to prepare a box for shipping ComSec material. There are a number of rules, special tamper proof tape that is used…etc. At lunch time I ate in my car and took a nap.

Back in the office I surfed the web a bit, until our NCOIC asked for two people that weren't doing anything. Since I really can't say that surfing the web was of any importance I got up along with the new guy. We had to clear a few shelves of boxes, break them down and take them to the recycling dumpster. I didn't really mind because it had me doing something. I did take my time though, only because I hate doing nothing in the office. I took my time carrying the large bag full of boxes to the dumpster. I then took my time strolling back to the office. On my way back my boss was outside smoking, so I stopped and talked with him a while. I then headed over to the post office to get my mail. When I headed out everyone was outside telling me to hurry up…we gotta go pee.

It turns out that from a "random" selection, almost our entire office was selected to take the test. I didn't mind, in fact I welcomed the chance to stay out of the office for a while. As we waited in the waiting room to go pee, I sat on the floor and played some "Plants Vs Zombies" on my iPhone. When almost everyone was done, I got up and took my turn to go pee. The process is the same every time. I check to make sure my social security number is correct and my name is correct on the label. I then initial the label. I check to make sure my bottle is empty and then get escorted into the bathroom. I fill up the cup under the watchful eye of an NCO, then return with the cup in one hand making sure to hold it high. I guess this lets everyone see it and so you can't make a switch or something. Once back you watch the administrator put the label on your bottle and you sign a piece of paper. All done…all the samples then go off to get tested to make sure we are not doing any illegal drugs.

I took my time walking back to the office, cleaned up and then inventoried a safe. We then were released about 1730. I guess that's not too bad for a week that we are getting audited. I picked up my wife and we headed home for a night of the usual rest and a few TV shows. Hoping my back keeps getting better.

Destruction Day - (Germany) Day 37

The morning PT run off post in 24 degree weather...thought my lungs were going to freeze

This morning's PT was a run off post. This means we dressed in civilian clothes which is nice, but it was so cold that I'm not sure what more I could have put on to keep me warm. Then if you put on too much you get too hot and sweaty during the run. My legs were still sore from the last two days of PT, so with that and the freezing temperature I ended up just jogging. It ended up being a pretty good workout though, I never stopped and had a good sweat going by the end.

SPC Whirlwind's wife drove us to work this morning, so she could keep their car and drive my wife to her driver's test later this afternoon. Once we arrived at work, we took the TMP and drove it to Patton Barracks. There was a customer out there that needed help loading their encryption key onto their device. I had never seen this done before, so I went along just to see. It was a waste of time for me though because I couldn't see anything that was going on. I got the basic idea…an encryption key is on the customer's portable device and that keep gets downloaded onto their equipment via a transfer cable. The problem is that I couldn't see the menu on the portable device and SPC Whirlwind was going so fast I didn't even bother to try and keep up. The only way I'll be able to learn anything in this office is by doing it a few times. This goes for all the paperwork as well as anything like this "house call", which is something I guess we hardly ever do.

When we got back it was time for destruction. There is a lot of encryption keys and paperwork that have expired and must be destroyed on the first of each month. All keys are accounted for and checked twice, then destroyed in a variety of ways. The most interesting one was using an actual sledge hammer!

I had lunch in the food court, which I need to stop doing. I've been going to pack a lunch, but keep forgetting. Having Subway for lunch each day is going to break my budget…I'm just a private! Once back from lunch I was told that I had to attend a training brief in the battalion conference room. The training was called MRT (Master Resilience Training) and is part of "Comprehensive Soldier Fitness". It deals with the soldier's mind and mental thinking. The idea is good, but the implantation of this particular training was poor. Everyone there was told they have to attend and the instructor couldn't get the computer to work at first so the first few lessons were paraphrased from his book instead of viewing slides. Everything was rushed through and we completed a couple days worth of training in a couple hours. I can't say that I particularly wanted to attend this training, but with everything being rushed through it seemed like just a waste of time.

Back at the office I headed straight to the bathroom to go pee. I had been holding it for the entire training session and had to go. Normally I don't report on my bathroom breaks, but this will come into play in a few minutes. I then was able to log onto a computer for a bit, but after trying to setup my email I found it is still not setup. I'm supposed to write a counseling statement for our commander even though I've met him for a total of 5 minutes. I guess that will not be getting done. I then hear our NCOIC tell everyone to head over to the day room at the barracks because we're doing 100% urinalysis. Oh great…I just went pee!!! I started chugging more water and then headed over to the barracks which are right across the street. After finishing a liter of water and refilling it again, the time came and I went. This is my first pee test since AIT where I may have come up showing too much chocolate milk…now it may be too much "herbs and cheese" bread from my sandwiches at Subway.

My boss had to stay until everyone was done with the pee test, so I caught a ride home with one of the maintenance guys. When I got home I found out my wife passed her driver's test, so when we finally get our car we will both be able to drive which will come in handy. My wife gave me a haircut and then we settled down and hung out watching shows.

M3 Lab (AIT - Fort Gordon) Day 131

A photo of me on a laptop in the M3 lab with the young Hawaiian to the left.

(The lighting is mostly red in the lab to make it more "real" I guess)

The hall guard woke me up early today at 4:15 and said to get dressed in ACUs and see the sergeant. I asked him "what for" and he said he didn’t know. So I got up and got ready, but one thing that I’ve learned not to do when I’m forced out of bed early is not to go pee. There were about 10 of us at RBK that had to get up early. We were told to get in the duty van and it took us to Charlie company where we were told we had to do a pee test. This time I was ready to go and stepped up near the front of the line. I went and got it over with quick...no more waiting and drinking water and waiting and drinking more water.

There was a chick there who was obviously on some sort of medication. She ended up falling off the chair and just stayed passed out on the floor! She was totally out of it. I’m not sure how they planned on getting her to pee in a cup.

I then met up with PFC Metal and the young Hawaiian to go to the medical clinic. PFC Metal had to setup another appointment for his ears and the young Hawaiian and I had to get our smallpox shot checked out. The doctor took a look at it and said yep, it looks normal (it looks like a huge puss filled zit on my shoulder). I mentioned how sick I’ve become since getting the shot and he said it’s normal...great. If I don’t get any better by Friday I may head in there and get checked out again.

Today in our M3 class we went to the lab. We worked in teams to setup and connect a network and computers together. It was basically what we’ve been setting up in the Cisco Packet Tracer simulator, but with real equipment. We even had to take shifts guarding the door to the classroom with a rifle. Anyone that wanted to come in had to show their ID.

The exercise took the entire day and we still didn’t quite finish. We made some good progress, but not all of the teams were able to get everything completed.

It’s Tuesday and like every other Tuesday we have mandatory training. This time it was MAC (Modern Army Combatives). Me and everyone else who just got the smallpox shot were unable to participate, so we just hung out in the Charlie day room watching TV until the training was finished. When PFC Metal came back he said it was pretty stupid training and we took off to RBK to call it a night.

A photo of the lab showing two of the work areas

Our MOS-T sergeant running some cable through the raised
flooring in the M3 lab. 

Yet Another Pee Test (AIT - Fort Gordon) Day 90

We woke up at 3:30 in the morning and found out that the reason was for another pee test. Unlike previous pee tests, this one was being “randomly” performed on 90% of the entire battalion. My guess is that they have reason to believe that someone in the battalion has been doing drugs of some sort and this is the best way they can still call it a "random" test and still catch the people. We marched over to Charlie company and did the test. It took longer than usual because of the number of people. Those of us at RBK were allowed to walk back with a battle buddy once we were finished. This turned out to work out pretty well because we arrived back at RBK with plenty of time to eat a leisurely breakfast and get our room squared away as well as perform our normal morning duties.

During class today after the morning break we heard our sister class getting a shakedown. They had to all empty their pockets onto their desks. The instructor was looking for people with cell phones. Later on I talked to our platoon PG who is in that class and found out that two people got caught. 

During our class a guy who keeps falling asleep constantly got punished...well the instructor is not allowed to punish people, so he gave him some “corrective action”. The guy had to do some push-ups, some sit-ups and a modified v-up. Afterward the instructor said “hey...you mopped a bit of the floor!” referring to the wet spot he left on the floor when he was finished.

I spoke with our platoon PG that is in our sister class and he said he got a negative counseling statement for falling asleep in class. He was trying to graduate with honors, but this will eliminate that opportunity. We would go back and forth in test grades with him beating me by a few points in one class and me beating him by a few in the next. Our current class (Security+) is the hardest class we’ve had so far. It has a whole new vocabulary that needs to be learned. There is also a lot of information that we have to process down to the last detail. There are a number of people that fail this class at least once. If you score an 80% or better on the final you will be allowed to take the CompTia Security+ certification exam for free. Right now I don’t feel comfortable at all in the class. I’ve been taking notes every day and studying every night. I am hoping it will all start coming together before the test.

Overheard Quote: “I heard you talking, but I didn’t understand anything you said” (One of the students in the class responding to the instructor when asked if he was “getting it”)

Surprise - Pee Day! (AIT - Fort Gordon) Day 62

Today turned out to be a pretty crappy day. The first crappy day since I’ve moved to RBK I think. The day started out pretty normal just like any other day here. I got up shaved and prepared for PT. When we got down in formation they called off a number of names including mine and said to make another formation. Turns out we have to do a pee test instead of PT this morning. Great...what is the first thing you normally do in the morning...you go pee! So I quickly drank my bottle of water. I thought this pee test may be a good thing since the sergeants seem to be trying to kill us during the PT sessions.

I had to grab my ID card and then we rode in the duty van over to Charlie company where a whole number of other Charlie people in the day room drinking water. That was the situation for a while, drink water, drink water and drink more water. There were a few who tried to go and either got a little nervous or they could produce enough. The problem is that we don’t have to go and we drink and drink, then all of a sudden we all have to go...and it’s a bit of an emergency.

Once I felt the need to go I got in the line which seemed to take forever. Everyone around me was doing the pee pee dance. When I got to the front I had to hand my ID card and in return I got a little cup with a sticker on it that contained my info. Then I had to stand in another line that seemed to take forever. From this line a sergeant would take 3 or 4 people at a time into the bathroom and watch them pee in the cup. I think I had enough pee to fill about 20 of the cups by the time I got in there. After we were done we filed back into the day room and stood in a short line to return our cups and sign a paper. The sergeant then singed next to us verifying he witnessed us doing the deed.

When I got back into the room there was a guy mopping up the floor. I guess one of the soldiers stated “I think I drank too much” and then proceeded to throw up all over the floor. LOL

I headed back to RBK to quickly change and eat, then had to go back to Charlie company for a new formation they are going to have every morning for everyone in software classes. Oh goody, I get to do detail at Charlie company now even though I don’t even live there anymore. I do detail all the time at RBK, we keep our place looking good. We ended up doing all sorts of detail from 8:00 to 10:45. Lots of mowing lawns, changing lights, pressure washing floors, picking up trash...you name it we were doing it. What really sucked is that it was getting hot and everyone was sweating pretty bad. This is fine for the folks who live at Charlie and can change before school, but for those of us that live at RBK...we can’t change. I was a little pissed, nobody from Charlie company comes over and helps us clean up RBK.

So it is looking like my perfect mornings with the included nap time at the IET center may be coming to an end. I’m not too happy about that either.

School today was full of software taking forever and not working quite right. The class didn’t make it through too much. This current class (Exchange 2007) is only two days long I believe so that is not a good sign. Because of this the teacher offered us the chance to come in early tomorrow only to be shot down by the command sergeant major who said PT is too important to miss.

After class and dinner today we had to go to some mandatory training which was held in the church. The sergeant went over how to call in a medivac in case of an emergency, pretty much a refresher of some of the stuff we learned in basic. I think they have to do a certain amount of mandatory training for the company each month and this just seemed thrown together at the last minute so they could check a box marked that yes indeed...we did the training.

100% (AIT - Fort Gordon) Day 21

Woke up this morning expecting a normal day ready for my A+ test. After I was ready for PT and about to head downstairs for formation we found out that we were not having PT and we needed to be dressed in ACUs. I changed clothes and headed downstairs wondering what the heck we were going to do this morning. This of course made me and about half the company at least one minute late for formation and one of our sergeants was at the bottom of the stairs making everyone who was late write their name on the white board. Great...I wonder what that will bring. I got out to formation and they did roll call. Then the sergeant started calling off a bunch of names including mine. We all had to form up in another formation.

After standing and wondering what this was all about, we found out that we were picked at random for a pee test (to test for drugs). We all had to gather in the day room and wait. We were given water “to help facilitate the process” which was good because most of us already went pee first thing in the morning when we were getting ready. They had one sergeant doing all the paperwork and collecting/distributing of the little bottles, so the process was painfully slow. It actually took almost 3 hours for the entire process. By the time I went I had downed 3 big glasses of water and was doing everything I could to hold it in. Finally I went with 6 other guys into the bathroom where we filled our little bottles under the watchful eye of another sergeant. What a relief! We then brought the bottles back to the day room all the while keeping them held over our right shoulders...and turned them in. I’m not worried about them finding any drugs in my system, but if they check for chocolate milk they may think I’m overdosing. Because of the length of this whole process a lot of us missed breakfast....grrrrrrr. We had to head straight to class formation and head to class.

Good news is I took the A+ test and scored 100%. Now we’re on to CCNA 1. We started the class, but because of internet troubles we didn’t get a whole lot done. We did get our books and some homework.

Internet has been down all day today in the barracks. That sucks, especially for how much we have to pay for it.

More good news, the supreme floor commander came in and said to go ahead and move to the lower bunk. Great! I moved all my crap and bedding. I can now say I’m in a much better area of the room (away from the door) and I’m on the bottom bunk which is awesome.

Overheard Quote: “Chuck Norris went through puberty in the second trimester” (A private in formation giving out random Chuck Norris facts)

MEPS Part I - ASVAB & MEPS (Pre-Basic Training) 123 Days until Basic

After I decided I wanted to join the Army I had to schedule a time to take the ASVAB test and get my physical done at MEPS.

The ASVAB test (The Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery) This test is used to determine which jobs you qualify for in the Army.

MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station) This is the site where the military determines an applicant's physical qualifications, aptitude and moral standards as set by each branch of military service, the Department of Defense, and federal law.

The plan was for the recruiters to take me out on a Thursday afternoon and drive to Spokane, which is about 3 hours away. Thursday night I would take the ASVAB test and then stay the night in a hotel. The next morning would be the physical at MEPS. If all went according to plan we would be back home by about 3 or 4 PM on Friday.

Like a lot of missions, this one didn’t go as planned. There were 4 of us all together, the recruiter who was driving us, a cop who wanted to join the reserves, another guy who was a year older than myself, and me. I arrived after lunch on Thursday at about 12:30. I patiently waited in the recruiter’s office while they got everything ready. This included a kind of pep talk or rehearsal. The recruiters went over everything that was going to happen at MEPS. He let us know that it’s the recruiter’s job to get people in the army and it’s MEPS job to disqualify people. He said they would use all kinds of scare tactics to try and get people to cough up all kinds of information. He said it is all scare tactics. He also let us know we would be taking a pee test and they will stand there and watch you do it.

The four of us assembled in the car and took off on our road trip. About an hour into the trip the recruiter said, “Now you all have your folders right?” I said “Um … you never gave me a folder!” Needless to say we ended up turning around and heading back to the recruiter’s office so he could get my folder, which had my social security card in it. Turns out you use this a lot at MEPS. This put us a few hours behind schedule and we ended up not being able to take the ASVAB test that evening. The recruiter had to call and have me and another guy reschedule for Friday morning.

We arrived at the hotel in Spokane and we were checked in and everyone was given a dinner and breakfast voucher. We were given strict orders not to have anyone else in our rooms and to behave. My guess is they have had issues before. They said our wake up call was set for 4:45 AM. Yuck! I was not looking forward to getting up that early, but as long as there was coffee in the morning I would be all right.

The three of us ended up eating dinner together. We got to choose from a special MEPS menu at the hotel restaurant. The food was pretty good and I even got ice cream fro dessert.

It was a little difficult to get to sleep with my mind racing non-stop thinking about what the next day was to bring. I did wake up at 3AM, 4AM, 4:30AM, then 4:45AM. Surprisingly the phone never rang with our wake-up call. Then there was a knock on the door. A hotel employee was at the door doing a manual wake-up notice because the phone system was having issues. So I jumped in the shower and got ready, waited for my roommate to get ready and then we headed down to the breakfast buffet at the hotel. After that we were loaded up with about 15 other recruits onto a shuttle to the MEPS offices in downtown Spokane.

Not sure if all MEPS offices are like this, but this one is located at a courthouse. We were offloaded from the shuttles and waited in the sub freezing cold for about ten minutes until someone finally unlocked the doors. Once in we had to go through a metal detector and have our bags scanned similar to security at the airport. Once through we all went to a room with offices for each of the branches of the service. Most of us were there for the Army, so we were herded like cattle to one corner of the room. We each had a name tag to stick on our bags and ourselves. Each of us had to fill out a lunch ticket (mmmm…turkey sandwich). Finally we grabbed our paperwork.

Next was the briefing room. All the recruits were told (just like the recruiter said earlier) that they are going to look up everything that ever happened to us. They are the federal government and have access to everything we have ever done in our lives. Nobody can stop them; so don’t lie on any of these forms. They will find out and you will go to jail and forfeit your pay. I was expecting all this, but then ironically they said, “We know what your recruiter told you, don’t believe them. We will find out everything” Luckily I wasn’t in much of a dilemma, since I haven’t had anything serious happen to me in the past. Honestly I haven’t been to the doctor since a sports physical to play basketball in high school. Everyone filled out some medical history questionnaires that mainly had yes or no answers. Any yes answers required an explanation at the bottom.

Next up...the ASVAB test. Myself and three of the other recruits were taken into a computer lab where we were given instructions and then proceeded to take the test. The test is broken into different sections and you have a time limit for each section. As long as you move along at a decent pace you should be able to finish each section in the allocated time. After that all Army recruits were required to take a personality test. I believe it was called the TAPAS test or something similar. It would provide you with two statements and you are supposed to pick which one represents you the best. Sometimes I think it shows two negative ones to see which one you don’t pick.

When all the testing was complete I was sent back to medical to complete my physical. I was aware that I would have to pee in a cup before all of this started so I made sure to not go before my ASVAB test. By now I had to go pretty bad and was relieved that I would not have to hold it any more. When I arrived at the medical desk the guy there told me I should eat my lunch and come back when I’m done because the “pee guy” was not there right now. Great, just what I did not want to do. I quickly ate my lunch, which was not too bad. (a pita sandwich with chips and a cookie). I did not end up drinking too much of anything though, just enough to wash down what I had just finished eating. I arrived back at the medical station and thankfully they were ready to accept my pee. I went into a room where a guy handed me a cup and then carefully watched me pee into it ¾ full. Luckily the room also had a urinal on the wall so I could finish off in there. I think I could have filled a dozen of those cups! They headed off with my cup of pee to test for various drugs and then took me into a room to draw my blood. This was done to check for certain types of diseases if I remember correctly.

Next step I had my eyes checked and my hearing tested. I’m slightly nearsighted and I’ve been to too many rock concerts as a kid, so I’ve lost some of my hearing. Luckily I evidently have enough hearing left to serve in the Army. To quote the hearing test administrator “It’s good enough for government work” I just have to make sure to wear protection if I head off to any more concerts. I then had a one on one talk with a doctor. The doctor quickly went over all my answers from the medical questionnaire I took at the beginning of the day. All were no except broken or cracked bones. I then had to explain how I broke my nose and right pinky finger during two separate basketball incidents. Oh and yes I did smoke pot when I was young and dumb. It was 20 years ago and I only tried it a few times.

Next up the physical exam. There were four of us together this time. All the people that ended up taking the ASVAB with me earlier in the day. We all had to strip down to our boxers and perform a number of movements, bends, twists, funny walks, etc. The doctor had a good look at us while we were doing all of this and then took us into a room individually. In the room I had to drop my drawers and let him feel my balls while I coughed. Then came an interesting moment… I had to bend over and spread my butt cheeks. The doctor crouched down took a visual and said, “it all looks normal” Luckily I didn’t fart!

When this was finished I got dressed and waited for my recruiter to come back and get me and my fellow recruits to head back home. A long day has been finished, and I’m one step closer to joining the Army.

Ryan13B

hello how did you make this blog like this? im going to Benning may 31 and i would like to make one like yours. any link on how to create one like your? thanks
email:colesjeff481@yahoo.com

Friday, April 1, 2011 - 11:08 PM

Brandon

When I decided to do this I purchased the domain name "mcguires5.com" from GoDaddy. I already had a mobileme membership which gave me a place to host the website. My Mac came with iLife which has a program called iWeb that makes creating and maintaining a website very easy. I set it up and then wrote letters to my wife every day from basic, when she received the letters she would type them up and post them. By the time I got to AIT I was able to have a laptop with internet access and I updated it from that point on.

If you check out my "Other's Stories" on my main website, you can see a lot of them use BlogSpot to create their blogs. You can check it out at www.blogspot.com. It's free and if you have someone you trust back at home you can have them log in and post your updates.

Saturday, April 2, 2011 - 12:08 AM

Ryan13B

thanks buddy, heres my blog>http://lifeatfortbenning.blogspot.com/ please tell me what you think. thanks man

Saturday, April 2, 2011 - 03:09 AM

Brandon

The site looks great...good job! Congratulations on not giving up and good luck with your army career. Keep that attitude of not giving up while in basic, it will serve you well.

Saturday, April 2, 2011 - 09:15 AM

Ryan13B

thanks man, i really want this, i want to be able to call myself an us soldier.

Saturday, April 2, 2011 - 10:49 AM