This morning I headed into work and as what has started to become the norm…I sat in a conference room and read. I did this until lunch time and then headed to meet my wife for lunch at the shopping center food court. My boss happened to come in and ended up sitting with us to chat for a while. After lunch I headed back and read some more, until I got a call from my boss telling me I needed to call our company XO (executive officer). So after a few tries I finally get through to him and he asks me if I've completed certain training (opsec training and social media training). I tell him that I'm not sure…I've done all kinds of training and can't remember specific ones. He then tells me he's going to email me a link so I can check…I remind him that he's going to have to email it to my personal account because I'm not allowed on any computers here. He then tells me to go use the library computers and if I haven't done the training to go ahead and finish it.
So I head off to the library, which is actually on PHV. I log in and find that one of them I did 2 years ago, and the other has no record. I do them both and get certificates printed out. By this time it's a little after 1600, so I head back to my house to scan the certificates and email them to him. I can't make it to PT, but I find out that nobody else did either because there was a company Christmas party today that everyone had to go to in Landstuhl. I read my email and the XO replied back (after I already started the training) telling me to go ahead and do it tomorrow so I can attend the party. LOL…I didn't even hear about the party, and I don't think I was invited anyway. There is no way I want to spend any more time than I have to with our first sergeant who already hates me.
All of this crazy stuff that has happened to me has really altered my mood. I don't sleep very well, I am alienated from everyone I used to work with, I feel like crap every day, and I don't do much of anything at work each day. One part of me wants to just get this all over with, I don't care what happens…the other part wants me to go to JAG and make sure I keep all my rights. Honestly I've tried calling JAG quite a few times, but nobody ever answers the phone. I just keep plugging though each day knowing that it's one day closer to getting out. I really hate my life right now…I hate being depressed. Christmas is usually a really fun time of year, but not this year. Hell…my wife actually bought all her own presents and wrapped them so they're under the tree. I just can't get into the spirit…it's all I can do to get up and get ready for work each day. I can hardly bring myself to smile anymore. I am glad my wife is here with me or else I'd be in a deeper depression. I hate feeling like this, but it seems there is nothing that changes it.